Reach the sky;

Sunday, March 22, 2009

You know I never really understood why the rainbow means so much to some people. How it can bring a smile on their faces not because it's some pretty sky phenomenon but something deeper. To me, the rainbow was well. Just colours caused by refraction in the sky. When I used to see a rainbow. I'd say: "Oh." Or when someone said "Hey look! It's a rainbow!" with exhilaration evident in their voices. I'd just try and patronize them but if that failed, my response would be a cold "So?".

Yesterday after service. As I was stoning under the shelter of the bus stop thinking about all that's happened in the past few hours. I heard a bunch of dudes singing some Chinese 彩虹song. I will fail to mention who. I thought they were just being weird. But I looked up anyways. And there it was. A rainbow in the sunset.

These past few days/couple of weeks/I-don't-know-how-long-anymore, I've been kinda... stone. Living each day like a routine. Even with all the outings in the past few days, I couldn't fully enjoy myself. So like while everyone was jumping around the bed going mad and singing songs so loud, it was as if we thought we owned the estate(I pity the neighbours.), I was stoning at them, plastering smiles on my face. Trying to tell myself I'm satisfied. It wasn't until Thursday. That I started to see where the problem lied.

"Your heart and attitude will determine how fast you can go."

Amusing really. How I can remember things said by people other than teachers. Quite simply, I lost the drive and the desire to advance forward. Held behind by all the failures. Makes me wish I wasn't auditory at all.

You know the couple of pictures at the top of this post? Those are the photos of the rainbow I saw. No. It's terrible. I need a camera. To start with. The sky wasn't even blue. It was ORANGE. Like. The colour of Sunkist oranges. That kind. Kinda like this:

I did NOT take this photo. Ok. Kinda like this. Only the sky is more orange. And there was only one VERY CLEAR rainbow.

And this. With a lighter sky and a more orange hue to it.

The orange still isn't right. I guess it's a lil' paler than this. This one looks painted.

Ok. And this? More orange of course.

Imagine with me here. I really wish I could have captured that image on paper or in this era, .jpeg images would be good. But I know that image in my mind will not fade for quite awhile.

That rainbow. It was above the overhead bridge. With cars driving by. The ground was wet cos' of the rain. You might not think it's much. But my perception of rainbows was changed forever, by that moment in time.

The rainbow is a reminder of God's promises. This I know. But it was never a reminder of God's promises to me. Before then, I was losing sight of all his promises. I had my doubts - if they still applied after all the months past. Even with all the reminders, I was still drifting away. But there and then. As I sat waiting for the bus and simultaneously firming up the resolve I had in my mind and heart. That scene spoke to me a lot. Even with all the cars rushing by, time felt like it came to a standstill. I did think I was getting left behind. That I was the only one trapped in the past. And as the sky gradually grew darker, from orange, to purple, to navy. It was like how I was losing sight of the horizon I once saw ahead. Despite all the gloom in the air, that rainbow still shone(yes I know rainbows don't shine but that one did. I'm positive.). When I looked at that rainbow, it felt like a long while, much longer than that few seconds I spent looking at it.(Actually those few seconds weren't enough. I kept sneaking glances at it as if it was some sort of federal crime to gaze upon something so beautiful.) So many things were going through my head. But loudest and clearest of them all, was God's voice.

"My promises for you still stand."

That was all he said. But it was all that was needed.

Even when things seem dark, and you can't see the light touching the distant horizon, His promises still stand. My resolve is firm. There's only one direction left to take. Forwards.

“The wind played with my hair at 9:19 AM”

about me

Name: Lim Xiwen
Age: 16
Birthday: 17th April 1993

Proud member of Sec 4 Unity 09'
IGNYTER

wishlist

1. Grow in God
2. Grow taller
3. More time
4. More self-control
5. To learn how to bar
6. Fufil my resolutions
7. Leave a legacy
8. Improve in football

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