|
Sunday, March 29, 2009
CHEM I SHALL DO.NOW. RAH. Friday, March 27, 2009
A week has gone by. Every one's gone back to school. Yippee-dee. Well sort of. My class, is messed up. But hey, at the very least it makes events interesting. And I've got like, not much drive to study. Which probably explains why I'm still here and not studying like any other good kid. So I guess maybe that explains why I failed my amaths test, messed up the lit essay, and had no mood to make much of an effort in SS. Ah well. No point crying over spilt milk. But you know. Today's meeting with the other IGNYTErs of SN pretty much made my day. I initially thought it would still be quite 'malu' and everything. But it turned out pretty ok. Alright so I went half an hour late. But it doesn't matter. Next week I'll make sure I go more prepared. Definitely. And this is my prayer in the battle When triumph is still on it's way I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ So firm on His promise I'll stand. I'd say more. But I think it's time I, at the very least, attempted to study. Sunday, March 22, 2009
  You know I never really understood why the rainbow means so much to some people. How it can bring a smile on their faces not because it's some pretty sky phenomenon but something deeper. To me, the rainbow was well. Just colours caused by refraction in the sky. When I used to see a rainbow. I'd say: "Oh." Or when someone said "Hey look! It's a rainbow!" with exhilaration evident in their voices. I'd just try and patronize them but if that failed, my response would be a cold "So?". Yesterday after service. As I was stoning under the shelter of the bus stop thinking about all that's happened in the past few hours. I heard a bunch of dudes singing some Chinese 彩虹song. I will fail to mention who. I thought they were just being weird. But I looked up anyways. And there it was. A rainbow in the sunset. These past few days/couple of weeks/I-don't-know-how-long-anymore, I've been kinda... stone. Living each day like a routine. Even with all the outings in the past few days, I couldn't fully enjoy myself. So like while everyone was jumping around the bed going mad and singing songs so loud, it was as if we thought we owned the estate(I pity the neighbours.), I was stoning at them, plastering smiles on my face. Trying to tell myself I'm satisfied. It wasn't until Thursday. That I started to see where the problem lied. "Your heart and attitude will determine how fast you can go." Amusing really. How I can remember things said by people other than teachers. Quite simply, I lost the drive and the desire to advance forward. Held behind by all the failures. Makes me wish I wasn't auditory at all. You know the couple of pictures at the top of this post? Those are the photos of the rainbow I saw. No. It's terrible. I need a camera. To start with. The sky wasn't even blue. It was ORANGE. Like. The colour of Sunkist oranges. That kind. Kinda like this:  I did NOT take this photo. Ok. Kinda like this. Only the sky is more orange. And there was only one VERY CLEAR rainbow.  And this. With a lighter sky and a more orange hue to it.  The orange still isn't right. I guess it's a lil' paler than this. This one looks painted.  Ok. And this? More orange of course. Imagine with me here. I really wish I could have captured that image on paper or in this era, .jpeg images would be good. But I know that image in my mind will not fade for quite awhile. That rainbow. It was above the overhead bridge. With cars driving by. The ground was wet cos' of the rain. You might not think it's much. But my perception of rainbows was changed forever, by that moment in time. The rainbow is a reminder of God's promises. This I know. But it was never a reminder of God's promises to me. Before then, I was losing sight of all his promises. I had my doubts - if they still applied after all the months past. Even with all the reminders, I was still drifting away. But there and then. As I sat waiting for the bus and simultaneously firming up the resolve I had in my mind and heart. That scene spoke to me a lot. Even with all the cars rushing by, time felt like it came to a standstill. I did think I was getting left behind. That I was the only one trapped in the past. And as the sky gradually grew darker, from orange, to purple, to navy. It was like how I was losing sight of the horizon I once saw ahead. Despite all the gloom in the air, that rainbow still shone(yes I know rainbows don't shine but that one did. I'm positive.). When I looked at that rainbow, it felt like a long while, much longer than that few seconds I spent looking at it.(Actually those few seconds weren't enough. I kept sneaking glances at it as if it was some sort of federal crime to gaze upon something so beautiful.) So many things were going through my head. But loudest and clearest of them all, was God's voice. "My promises for you still stand." That was all he said. But it was all that was needed. Even when things seem dark, and you can't see the light touching the distant horizon, His promises still stand. My resolve is firm. There's only one direction left to take. Forwards.  \ME AND PUISAN. Blame Angel for her lousy cameraman skills.  Cake smear!  Nice shot right. I took it. Haha. Ego.  Prima Deli cake. I want you to know we didn't get some terrible disease from eating it.  Leryee's birthday. Was in Feb. Haha. It's March now.  Angel looks like some powerpuff girl wanna' be.  That's cookie dough if you're wondering.  Huimin's trademark gay smile.  Cool shot right? Everyone should have straws in their photos.  And we have the other half of the gang. Haha. Yes. I finally decided to post. Tuesday, March 10, 2009
So I had alot to think about this past few days. Still thinking actually. But let's start with the mundane and unimportant.Ok... I can't remember anything about the mundane and unimportant. Except maybe today. Rah. My fitness level, has gone kasplat. Like, I can't run long distances anymore. Ok wait, I can't run 'fullstop'. But I want that 4-year Gold award! So I shall force my fat bum to move. Anyways, our P.E. project is messed up. Big time. Like, I knew what Susie was going to say. She was giving me the "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" kind of look. But I can't just charge around the class further confusing the poor things under our command right? Argh. After all that effort(quite alot for PE ok), we're still. D. O. O. M. E. D. Yes. Now you know how to spell it. Moving on... Many things have been said. Many reminders have been given. And many times the teacher's voice fades away and is replaced by my own deep thought. I'm like, in my own little world during lessons. "Jesus went up onto a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him." ~ Mark 3:13 Remember Xiwen. It isn't the end yet. Change isn't overnight. Saturday, March 7, 2009
I finally understand how some people don't like reading the Bible at times cos' they know what God's going to say. Bah."As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." ~ Ephesians 4:1-2 I failed. Like kasplat. I have not been humble, not been gentle, not been patient, and have not been tolerant. I've been edgy, frustrated, annoyed at how 'floaty' my mind is when it's time to focus. Basically, I've been a ticking time bomb in a continuous loop, minus the ticking. So it's basically boom boom boom boom. Rah. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13 Ties in with what I said earlier. I can't seem to control myself well. You know like, when I'm angry, I'm angry. And I show it. A lot. And I know I'm at if-there-was-a-state-higher-than-boiling-it-would-be-this point. So there. I lose to myself. Then there's how certain people are telling me that I'm not setting an example etc. etc. etc. Rah. I know it. I know it. But argh. Dumb pride. It's self-explanatory really. And it's not like I purposefully force myself to sleep during class and not do homework. It happens when you get 5 hours of sleep a day(ok so sometimes I bring it upon myself), and when you have a CCA that doesn't allow you to study and do homework and forces you to watch "Meet the Robinsons" instead. Imagine with me here. So much time wasted. So when you're annoyed and don't want to hear reason. Having someone tell you that there is a reason why you have such a family isn't exactly pleasing to the ear. I know that for a fact. But sometimes it's hard to turn that into conviction. Ok so I can't change the hand I was dealt at the start of life. I can't change the cards that's been given to me. I can't change how others decide to play with their cards, but I can choose how I play mine. Rah. Stupid proverb-ish sayings. |
about me
Name: Lim Xiwen Age: 16 Birthday: 17th April 1993 Proud member of Sec 4 Unity 09' IGNYTER wishlist
1. Grow in God2. Grow taller 3. More time 4. More self-control 5. To learn how to bar 6. Fufil my resolutions 7. Leave a legacy 8. Improve in football tagboard
links
XiyuanPuisan Chloe Tan Leryee Ben(avon) Davelle Michelle Fam Tingyan Eudee Weijie archives
thank you
Designer: SPLASH!Resources: 1 | 2 |