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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Ok. I haven't posted in what seems like ages. Let's start with the silly pointless stuff first shall we. Pointless Thing #1 Lately I've been playing audition(ok it was only 2 days) and I'm still level 6. Yes. It's been forever. I know nuts of the game. It's probably why I never was good at the piano. I mean if my lousy hand-eye coordination wasn't enough, I have short fingers. So I can't stretch. So in short, I suck at it. Pointless Thing #2 I've been watching My Girl. So nice. I'm sadly, still one Ep 13 though. Haha. Like... after 6 months. Yes it's that bad. Gong-chan(I dunno what's his real name) is a pretty good actor. I think I'm gonna' get abs if I spend 3 hours watching that show every day. No kidding. GO WATCH GO WATCH! Pointless Thing #3 I love bridge. Love it. Join me early in the mornings for a few rounds if you'd please. Alright. That's a wrap. Moving on to the more important. I think I've more or less gotten my wake up call. Good good. Feels good. I don't feel like an idiot or walking mask no more. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." ~ Isaiah 43:18-19 Cool cool. It makes me excited to think about what could possibly be in store for me. (Or as someone would say: egg-cited. Don't ask why I suddenly thought of that.) I think God's already dropped a few hints already. But they still sound a little far-fetched and stuff. Then again, he'll make a way. He said so. Flip-side: I think I'm hearing all the wrong things and full of myself. TOMORROW I'm going for breakfast at the Tau Huey stall with Hui Min, Jolene and co. CAN'T WAIT! The only problem? I think I might oversleep. Sunday, October 19, 2008
I annoy myself. Honestly. I say 'A', and do 'B'. Who on their right mind does that? I know what I want. But I don't wanna' work for it. I know which is the greater purpose, and which is more worth spending time on, but I choose to procrastinate. I know what I should be doing, but I get tempted and well, being stupid, allow myself to be diverted off course. Argh. You know, aside from that, I'm starting to feel a lil' heat in regards to next year. So I'm going to start studying early. I still feel like a hypocrite in a way. Like, I'm not exactly following what He said. Neither am I doing the obvious, which would be talking to Him. Yet I still try to reflect his love. Worship is a lifestyle. But it seems mine fluctuates according to my mood. Tch. Stupid really. I lack self-discipline. All of it. Out of all the fruits of the spirit, I only probably have joy. And the tiniest bit of faithfulness. And even that is probably 10% of it's full potential. 10%, if I'm lucky. I can't stand it, but I continue to do it. Someone needs to hit me hard. Sunday, October 12, 2008
You know what? I actually planned to give this post more thought but I can't stand the fact that I'm not following what I intended to do today except for slack. And now my movement is restricted cos' of the dumb muscle cramps in my leg (give me a sprained elbow any day) so I'm just binging and putting on weight. Yes I can't seem to stop eating.So... bear with me here. Xi Yuan, has officially made me wanna' play flight sim. But she doesn't wanna' go check her tagboard so I guess I'll have to wait. And I was supposed to go cycling with Ler Yee, Vanessa, Jing, Siao Yi, and Hui Min but most of us can't make it so that got cancelled. Annoying... Moving on, it's like, the 3rd day already. And the leg cramps are still hanging around. It's time like this I wish I didn't live on the 3rd storey of my house. Going up the stairs is fine. Coming down is another story. So, I decided to research on muscle cramps. And I have now officially come to the conclusion that they're caused by either...or: 1. Over-exertion (9 hours of playing. Not a surprise.) 2. Lack of water (Rather probable too.) And the ways to relieve the dumb thing is to: 1. Massage the affected muscle 2. Apply heat/cold(preferably heat) on to the affected muscle 3. Drink more water Yes I'm pretty much desperate here. And I keep getting sent off on errands by my parents, who are quite honestly, oblivious. But that's good too cos' my Mom would bar me from playing sports for the next 50 years if she knows. She asked me on Friday night: "Xi Wen, when are you going to stop playing soccer?" My answer: "Er... Never?" And so, Operation RMC (relieve muscle cramps) officially begins... Now. Bye. Off to down gallons of water. Friday, October 10, 2008
This shall be a post purely about today. And nothing about stuff that may pop into mind. At least I'll try.Games Carnival, itself, was crappy. Probably because we did not get into the semi-finals, much less the finals. (See, I was right. Things were different.) But you know, losing because I wasn't skillful enough(I'm still hoping it's cos' I'm just off-form) and losing because of silly rules are completely different. Let's see. Scissors, paper, stone. Yeap. That was how we lost one match. No offence to anyone(*coughexceptsusiecough*), it is by far the MOST ridiculous way to settle a match EVER. Sorry Purity, but I'm still sore at the fact that we kept the ball 80% of the time at the other end(attack zone), and just cos' I kept hitting the crossbar(yes my aim sucks), we had to play scissors paper stone to settle the match. WHY DO YOU MAKE IT A WIN-LOSE SITUATION??? WHY NOT WIN-WIN? You see, if you draw, every one's happy. But when something stupid like this happens and we lose, well, obviously, I'm not happy. I mean come on. WHERE IS THE HONOUR IN THAT? I want to play a proper match. Win or lose. I want to know the outcome is NOT because of some silly luck based game, but cos' there was something up in our skill level. Losing cos' of scissors paper stone, is NOT a way to do that. Let's use some common sense here people. You know Wisdom VS Justice? Their penalty shootouts were ENDLESS. But now, we didn't get to continue. We played what? That's right. SCISSORS PAPER STONE. Ok. Never mind. Moving on. We played Grace. That was fine. And I can accept the fact that I let people down by missing out on that goal. But you know the thing about it that bugs me? It's how we only got 1 shot, and they got 2. Once more no offence intended. It's just how we didn't even get to play FAIRLY in that last bit. I'd like to lose with grace(the feeling not the class) but you know, not getting to carry on as STATED IN THE RULES is... disappointing. I still love you Ali. Just so you know. But then again, the fact doesn't change that I failed to save that ball. And because I locked my arm at the wrong time... Ah. My elbow hates me. So I went around looking for the key and someone who could help me get my elbow guard. But to no avail, so I had to borrow money for a packet of ice. Epic fail Xi Wen. Sometimes I find people so hypocritical. Although I myself am guilty of that from time to time. Me and my stupid double standards. But this really is dumb. And to lift the whole mood. We won Diligence! I think(actually I know) Xi Yuan got pissed with me what with all the sliding around. But I did warn her that win or lose, we're going all out. Haha. Ooops. When she was just about to shoot(and I felt rightfully threatened)I slided and well, maybe too aggressively, and she didn't stop in time. So we both rolled. And Susie was behind us so I my mind was this: "NO NO NO! PLEASE DON'T CALL ME OFF LIKE IN SEC 1! XI YUAN IS NO AMATEUR! SHE'S USED TO ME BEING VIOLENT!" Cos' in Sec 1, she scolded me for being overly ers... competitive. And lectured me for an hour. Saying stuff about me going mad against amateurs. Her words. Not mine. So... I figure she left me alone cos' Xi Yuan is no amateur. So now that I think about it, we won the top team in our category, but lost to the non-top teams. Well that sucks. Well then, I must say kudos to Bwong and class. It was a good match. I LOVED the penalty shootout and how the whole school showed our apparent dissatisfaction at the gay scissors paper stone thing. Bwong did a great job. It's refreshing to see someone else win for a change. So moving on to the MAIN HIGHLIGHT of the day, 11-a side students VS teachers. But as usual, the turn up was quite sad. Both on the part of teachers and students. But ever faithful Mr Ng was there(WE LOVE MR NG). And me and Xi Yuan wore our jerseys. I felt cool. Haha. So we played some awesome matches. On the teacher's side, Mr Sam, Mr Ng, Mr Tan Yong Ming, Mr Seth Tan, Mr Imran(who surprisingly turned up in jeans later on), Wahib(spell? He isn't old so unlike Xi Yuan I will not add Mr to it.) As usual, although it clearly wasn't an 11-a side match, we had great fun. It is VERY VERY FUN to keep shooting balls at Mr Ng in goals. He is like, super good at it. And he's very funny. (Yes I like Mr Ng, the best teacher in the whole school.) And we juggled(I manage to do 6 now), shot, and played matched. I scored a couple(maybe more but my memory sucks) so that made me elated! Xi Yuan sooo owes me a drink now. Along the course of playing(from 2.30-4.30), I occasionally felt jams in my calves. So well, someone is obviously trying to warn me about the cramps approaching. But you see, being dumb and deaf, I didn't pay attention. So when it got increasingly frequent, like when I'm going to kick, I feel it jamming in the middle, I associated relieving cramps with stretching. So I did a calf stretch. That was it. Both legs buckled and I was down and out. Thankfully, Mr Ng saved my butt. Haha. So I didn't have to wait it out like I normally do. By normally, I mean the gay idea whereby I get leg cramps in the middle of the night in bed. Strange, I know. But you know, it is by far the worse cramps ever. In the sense that I feel like I have stones in my calves. And cos' it's super stiff. How on earth am I supposed to play basketball tomorrow? So than, when Mr Ng told me to sit in the shade for a bit, EVIL Mr Tan Yong Ming(Let's call him TYM) decided we should: "Let's juggle around Xi Wen. Whoever hits her scores." Oh. Fabulous. That's how they treat the injured. There is no need to guess who was the one deliberately aiming at me all the time. So anyways, before our very last match, we took a photo of our backs. Pretty cool pic if you ask me.  Do not ask me why Mr Ng is dancing in the middle. Cos' I don't know. Well anyways, we decided to play one last match. Was pretty sweet if you ask me. Mr Imran joined us then so it's like, half + half = 1! We're even! Pretty fun. But my aiming sucked. I totally blame my lack of balance. Anyways, we have GOT to do that again. I'm thinking, the 2nd last day of school. Provided it's NOT on a CCA day. Oh goody. I can't wait! Thursday, October 9, 2008
I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW! IT BETTER NOT RAIN! IT'S GONNA' BE AWESOME. THINGS WILL DEFINITELY BE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR. UNITY IS SOOOO GONNA' WIN! GO UNITY! YES I'VE LOST IT. Wednesday, October 8, 2008
An absolute waste of my time and money I tell ya'. First off, it costs a bomb, second of all, I can't quit. Third, I feel like they're teaching me to be someone I'm not. Going around praising everyone forcefully. Revolting.4 more days of horror... Tomorrow, Mon, Wed, and Fri. Like... NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you know, the way they try to make people feel comfortable is disturbing too. I'm not a touchy person. So I don't like it when someone keeps going up to me and rubbing my back. I ain't no cat. Try talking. Less touching. That said, I shall try not to think of how I'm going to waste my time there for another 4 days and will pretend that it's all a bad dream I'll wake up from in no time. I will now proceed to doing the very thing I want to do, yet have not been doing properly. Goodbye. And remember, if you ever sign-up for MindChamps, NEVER sign-up for Confident Communicators. Monday, October 6, 2008
There was actually another post here but it shall remain as a draft.I'm dead beat. Exhausted, about to collapse. And not cos' I studied. I'm just tired... Tomorrow's the last paper. And will mark the 4th paper I'm not gonna' study for. Super sleepy. Maybe I'll go attempt to redeem my fitness level now. Then shower, and watch Horton. Because honestly it is the BEST show I have seen this year. Then I'll need to talk to God. Because apparently I have been losing concentration due to my pathetic state of consciousness these few days. Goodbye then. Saturday, October 4, 2008
We are the noisiest, coolest, bunch there!!!Considering the rate I blog now, and the rate I study, it's safe to say something has rewired my brain into thinking it's the holidays already. So the AM paper is on Monday, and everything I studied has pretty much faded. Great. Now I officially have 1 day to cram everything back in. Plus the chores and everything else. You know, I'm DESPERATE to play some sports. Like, badminton, basketball, soccer... Oh gosh. I even resorted to playing with my Primary 2 neighbour for 5 minutes of badminton. I'm that desperate. Moving on to my very UNFIT state, I shall tell you why I'm feeling a lil' sad for Games Day on Friday. I did sit-ups and push-ups yesterday, and I'm aching EVERYWHERE. Stomach aches. Back aches. Shoulder aches(but that might just be the dumb shoulder blade causing problems) and neck aches(up to the bottom of my chin). Yes I said neck aches. Like the front of your neck. What kind of person gets neck aches?! So I'm determined to start running in an attempt to build up my stamina and muscles before Friday. I also don't wanna' die when we play 11 aside with the teachers. Haha. Oh gosh. I'm too busy chatting with Ting Yan. I'll just cut everything short. Besides, I'm lacking inspiration. Friday, October 3, 2008
I'm brimming with happiness. A joy higher than elation and WAY beyond anything drugs and stuff can give you. It's been so long, so long, since I felt this way. Like, for no apparent reason, I'm just bouncing with joy. Oh gosh. I love this feeling.Alrighty then. Today's SS test, considering I studied 2 hours only, the paper, was AWESOME. The only problem is that, I finished right on the dot. And the half a chapter I studied for did NOT come out. Yet I have a really good feeling about the whole paper. Even inference seems good. I'm actually being very positive right now and believing it's possible for a B. So there, when I said I can pass SS with God, I wasn't lying. Aside from that, the hesitation that I had seems to be fading away bit by bit. Which is a good thing. It's such a great feeling, to be encouraged by everyone, left and right, plus God too. I won't lie, I'm terribly excited. Now, life is more than the here and now, it's not about studies, it's not about meeting the expectations. Neither is it about getting an ipod/itouch(depending on the folk's mood). It's about Him. When you realise that God is real and the stuff he can do to a person, everything isn't as important anymore. I've got so many promises in him. It's kind of scary how there's so much more to look forward too. I haven't got everything perfect and all but hey, it's improving. I just got a new cd player cos' my old junkie disc player from some ancient garage finally died. Plus a new cd. So yeah, that contributes to the happy, but not as much. You know, now looking at what I was doing last night instead of studying SS, as I sat there in Coffee Bean, I was like cut off from the world. Not in the emo-all-alone sense. But the way in which it was like viewing the things moving and changing my life. And I realised I still have yet to treasure all that I have. I take so many things for granted, God's love, my parents, my dad, my mom, my brother(oh gosh. I never imagined I'd say that), my sister, my cousins, my friends. There's still so many things left undone. So many things left unsaid, many things lost. As I sat there, I received a message wishing me luck from my cousin(Yaqi). We haven't talked since like, 1-2 months ago. Our relationship(like sisters) faded with me moving to Australia. Our lives, took very different paths. Relating to one another is a challenge in itself. Yet, the opportunity came. I thought I was mad and overambitious at first. But when those words came, it was worth it. "Thank you for all those words. It motivated me in some sense!" I wanna' do stuff and impact the lives of others. Big or small, I don't want to remain the encouraged, I want to be the encourager. "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand." ~ Isaiah 14:24 "For the Lord Almighty has purposed, who can thwart him? His hand is stretched out and who can turn in back?" ~ Isaiah 14:27 Doubt? There is no place for that. The only option is to surrender. Stopping isn't even on the list. He hasn't given me a reason to show he's not worth it. In fact, he's all there is. The prize, the goal, the one. "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." ~ Ephesians 5:14 Yes yes. Time to wake up. Time to see through his eyes. Thursday, October 2, 2008
I seem to be blogging more often now even though it's still technically the exam period. But I think 70% of me has decided what comes, comes. Sometimes I find my pathetically short attention span problematic. No wait, make that all the time.Physics test, was... rubbish. I'm sorry Brander Na! My bugging you for like half the day yesterday has all come to waste! Because 90% of what I asked you, and studied(sort of) did NOT come out. So I'm pretty much I can kick the whole idea of reaching the goal they've, and myself, have decided upon. But of course, it's just going downhill tomorrow. Considering it's the dreaded SS paper. Ah... my arch nemesis, whom I can't seem to EVER pass against. Even if I get by some divine stroke of (luck? Maybe not) something, an a1 in geog, my beloved is just gonna' tear the lovely dream into shreds, shambles, you get the idea. So wait, why am I NOT studying SS right now? Well, quite simply, I don't have all that much of motivation. Ironically, what I was so caught up on a couple of weeks, has taken a back seat, to allow front row box office thrones to(my delight actually) knowing more about God. Yay! There are a million things that I still have to fix in my life(not kidding) considering I'm probably the rashest, most impulsive, violent, proud, arrogant baboon in the whole entire world. Not very much helped by the fact that I'll shoot my mouth off if pushed to that point(which doesn't take long actually). But I pray that in the days to come something/someone will just waltz up to me and knock some sense into my thick skull. List of things to drill into my head: 1. It's not about me. 2. I'm not an accident. (Although I think already got that bit) 3. Life is a test and a trust. (Which upon close scrutiny, I don't seem to pass very well) Plus the benfits of having/knowing my purpose: 1. Knowing my purpose gives meaning to my life. 2. It simplifies my life. 3. Motivates it. 3. Prepares me for the bigger things to come. "Though you may not think you're ready, but God will make you. God doesn't call the prepared, he prepares those He calls." So much has been said about this thing for the past 3-4 days. Yet, I'm still testing out the waters, is it too cold, or too deep. Minimum distance is covered each day, yet each day, I want more. Fear is a VERY annoying thing. I'm still trying to close my eyes and just jump. Let whatever comes, come. I already know the sea is deep, so it's kind of strange how I'm like, taking it inch by inch, foot by foot, like I'm convinced I'll hit a rock and drown or something. I still need to think somemore. I need someone to kick me off the shore. Cos' then, there'll be no turning back once you're in. But I guess there still needs to be a trade-off around. He can't very well prepare me if I don't let go and take the plunge. I predict the long night ahead of me again then. Time to use more of my secret weapons then. And upgrade them in the process. Right then. I'm off to attempt to mug for SS so as to avoid impending doom tomorrow. Astalavista (baby)! |
about me
Name: Lim Xiwen Age: 16 Birthday: 17th April 1993 Proud member of Sec 4 Unity 09' IGNYTER wishlist
1. Grow in God2. Grow taller 3. More time 4. More self-control 5. To learn how to bar 6. Fufil my resolutions 7. Leave a legacy 8. Improve in football tagboard
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